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PrincipalsPage the Blog

Chocolate Milk Tastes Better When I am Not Being Violated

on July 23, 2009
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Kindergarteners have a dark side? I think you're personalizing the behavior of a young child way too much here. My little boy has whacked (or butted,...
Kindergarteners have a dark side? I think you're personalizing the behavior of a young child way too much here. My little boy has whacked (or butted, or kneed) me in the crotch on more than one occasion without intending harm. Kindergarteners are short! They're clumsy! Waist level to us is head level to him. The gesture apparently hit the mark, and I sympathize, but that doesn't mean it was the /intended/ mark. "Guy who wears a tie" is a simple description of you. The only derogatory content there is in your interpretation. Maybe you intended this story to be humorous. But it misses the mark. And, for the record, my little boy and little girl are both able to scream at equal levels of volume and passion.
on Jul 23, 2009

There are lots of good things about being a school superintendent: the stress, the long hours and the unhappy ____________ (fill in the blank with employees, staff, parents, community members, other community’s members, students, board members, state board of education and people at the post office who know everything we need to do to fix education).

In my estimation, the good superintendents are able to deal with the challenges I listed above and, more importantly, can focus on all of the good aspects of education — such as, great students, parents, teachers, staff and board members.

Granted, some days are easier than others, but by forging ahead, being prepared, keeping a positive attitude, staying organized and always keeping your head on a swivel, it is possible to survive days, weeks, and, in rare instances, even years.

One of the absolute best things about being an administrator is kindergarten kids. They have the ability to keep teachers and administrators smiling on even the most challenging of days. They are, without fail, the happiest, most upbeat students in a school district.

Every year, they are truly excited about the school day, love their teacher (and sometimes even the principal and superintendent) and certainly smile more than any other group.

I am sorry to report that they do have a dark side.

Earlier this year, I was standing in the hallway, drinking my chocolate milk and trying to mind my own business as the students arrived for what seemed like just another day.

Unfortunately I got complacent and broke one of my own cardinal rules: I didn’t have my head on a swivel.

This should be lesson #1 in administrative classes. Always — and I mean always — keep your head moving 360 degrees and be on the lookout for trouble within a 2 mile radius.

As I stood in that hallway, it seemed like an ordinary day (this is a joke — there are no ordinary days in education). A large gang of kindergartners made their way past me and most said “good morning” or “hi” — even the one I now refer to as “Touch Me Again and I Will Scream like a Little Girl.”

You see, on that particular day the last one in the group walked by and said “Hi Mr. Guy Who Always Wears a Tie.” (I can’t list my real name because of the embarrassment and shame it would bring to my family and school district. Actually, I just don’t want to be made fun of when I am out in public.)

Sadly, after he said hello, he then preceded to smack, tap or touch me right in the chalk and erasers (I am still not sure what exactly happened because the shock, the horror and the nightmare continue to haunt my dreams).

I nearly drowned in my own chocolate milk.

The little guy didn’t even break stride, turn around or even acknowledge that he had just broken 12 different schools rules, committed at least a misdemeanor, compromised my personal space, and left me a shamed and broken man.

I looked around for an administrator so that I could file a grievance, charges or just have this young person hunted down, but, as usual, they are never around when you need one (also, I joke — I am the administrator).

The only adults in the vicinity who could have been of assistance were two teachers, and I noticed they weren’t much help. This occurred to me as I saw them doubled over and laughing hysterically (not with me, but at me). That made three people doubled over in the hallway on that particular morning (for those of you keeping score at home).

As I reflect on this incident, I have learned two valuable lessons: One, I must always be on the lookout for trouble (especially below me). And two, don’t expect people to rush to your defense when a kindergartner smacks you in the chalk and erasers.


To read more blog entries by Michael Smith, visit his site PrincipalsPage.com.

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on Jul 23, 2009
Kindergarteners have a dark side? I think you're personalizing the behavior of a young child way too much here. My little boy has whacked (or butted, or kneed) me in the crotch on more than one occasion without intending harm. Kindergarteners are short! They're clumsy! Waist level to us is head level to him. The gesture apparently hit the mark, and I sympathize, but that doesn't mean it was the /intended/ mark. "Guy who wears a tie" is a simple description of you. The only derogatory content there is in your interpretation. Maybe you intended this story to be humorous. But it misses the mark. And, for the record, my little boy and little girl are both able to scream at equal levels of volume and passion.
on Jul 23, 2009
You are privileged to have been given a powerful platform to humbly share your reflections as a leader and a role model for a global community of learners. I look forward to reading posts in the future that share your ideas for inspiring the community you serve.
on Jul 23, 2009
Violated? The victims here are the children at this man's school. I would expect any principal to be more mature, circumspect, and understanding of children and their nature. Maybe little girls would scream less if big men stopped putting them down.
on Jul 23, 2009
I get sarcasm; I understand snarkiness. But, "WITH GREAT POWER THERE MUST ALSO COME - - GREAT RESPONSIBILITY!" Yes, I know I just quoted from Spider-Man, but it is true. You are in a position of great power and, therefore, responsibility within your community. If this is how you would like to wield that power, then so be it. But, I think it's irresponsible for a superintendent to write such a throw-away post that is essentially about your "chalk and erasers." I second Jen Jones in this respect. The MUCH larger concern for me is the horribly sexist language. "...I Will Scream like a Little Girl" is offensive. Why have you singled out "little girls" as those who scream when in pain? Our educational system has long discriminated against girls, and you are exacerbating that problem with your language. In that respect, I repeat what Bea wrote above: "Maybe little girls would scream less if big men stopped putting them down."
on Jul 23, 2009
Lighten up, folks. It's SATIRE!!
on Jul 23, 2009
Jennifer and Bea: in the words of Shakespeare, “The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.” Thomas: Please don’t major on the minor and allow the rest of us a moment to smile at the visual of the superintendent flinching as a five-year old walks by.
on Jul 23, 2009
Oh boy, the pressure is ON! The global community is watching... and they are hard to please.
on Jul 24, 2009
Could you please explain why you need to (a) categorize and marginalize children, and (b) perpetuate gender stereotypes, to make your point? I understand that you were trying to be funny, but don't you think it would be equally effective if you were more respectful?
on Jul 29, 2009
"he unhappy ____________ (fill in the blank with employees, staff, parents, community members, other community’s members, students, board members, state board of education and people at the post office who know everything we need to do to fix education)." Is there anyone you don't view with contempt in your psersonal life?
on Aug 16, 2009
The title of this blog is hilarious!
on Aug 18, 2009
Are you people out of your minds? OMG. OMFG. I am shocked to see such humorless, thin-skinned responses to something that was mildly funny, completely in jest and basically harmless. In response you painted him with a broad, negative stroke. Quit taking stuff so seriously. Use that outrage where it counts. When you use it where it doesn't, you dilute its power. Misused, noble arguments grow to be dismissed as products of fringe lunatics.

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